Many relatives find this a difficult subject. There may be many reasons why a private service is chosen. However, experience shows that what seemed correct at the time can become a burden in the long run if people who should have been present were not given the opportunity to attend. Experience also shows that signals given when choosing a public service often create uncertainty – should you make contact or not? Most people do not wish to be intrusive. As a result, a feeling of having been forgotten can easily arise.
In the past it was very important to create a spirit of community and togetherness at funerals.
The serviceIf nothing else has been agreed, relatives should meet about 20 minutes before the service is due to start. It is not necessary to wear black, but be dressed neatly and respectfully in mute colours. In most places it is usual for the relatives and their families to sit at the front to the left, but this varies from place to place.